


rain in the woods

by Areiton



Series: Find Me In the World [14]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Coping Mechanisms, Getting Together, Healing, Love Letters, M/M, POV Stiles, Slow Burn, Therapy, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 13:55:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areiton/pseuds/Areiton
Summary: He feels restless.Anxious, too big for his skin, a feeling he hasn’t had much of since they left Beacon Hills.





	rain in the woods

He feels restless. 

Anxious, too big for his skin, a feeling he hasn’t had much of since they left Beacon Hills. 

But it’s not a bad restless. Not the kind that makes him jump at loud noises, and wait impatiently for the other shoe to drop. 

This--it feels like the night before a road trip or school starting. When everything is wide open and hopeful and everything in him is reaching for that moment that isn’t quite there yet. 

 

_ >> i stopped by the shop. New pieces came in. That sleigh bed, dude. It’s gorgeous. They’re good work.  _

_ << thanks. Lily brought them down. I know--I’m sorry.  _

_ >> Don’t. We already agreed that slow is good. I’m not upset.  _

 

He runs a lot. Sometimes John joins him, jogging an endless loop through the woods behind his house. 

More often he runs alone, and it’s not bad. It means he can think. 

 

_ << did you go to college?  _

_ << where is lydia.  _

_ >> yeah. I got into George Washington and thought about the FBI for a minute--but it didn’t seem right. Not for me now, you know? Felt like that was part of me that I outgrew. idk, maybe that doesn’t make sense.  _

_ >> she’s in NYC. Works on Wall Street. Last I heard she was making her clients millions and on track to be named partner in her firm before she’s thirty.  _

 

He wants more, is the thing. 

And that terrifies him. 

What  _ more _ could be, terrifies him. 

He runs and the summer thunderstorms gather over him, dark and forbidding and strangely comforting. 

 

_ >> do you still have nightmares? _

_ << yeah _

_ >> me too.  _

 

He has his first panic attack after they’ve been texting and emailing, doing this slow dance toward each other for two months. 

Derek calls, his name flashing bright and insistence on his phone screen and it threw him into a panic attack so quick and hard he actually blacked out. 

He came to with four missed calls, a string of increasingly worried texts, and his Dad’s face set in a familiar expression of worry and fear that he hasn’t seen much in the years since they left Beacon Hills. 

“I’m ok.” 

“Are you?” John asks. It’s the first time, the only time, he questions this thing they’re doing, and Stiles shivers under that question, under the weight of his concern. 

“I’m ok,” he insists, and texts the same to Derek. 

 

_ To  _ [ _ d.hale.wolf@gmail.com _ ](mailto:d.hale.wolf@gmail.com)

_ From:  _ [ _ SStilinski24@gmail.com _ ](mailto:SStilinski24@gmail.com)

_ Subject:  _

 

_ I found a book the other day. Dad laughs at me because when I’m just trying to relax, I read a lot of scifi and YA. Ridiculous, right? My therapist said it was me trying to recreate my teen years, into something that didn’t kill me or try to. That reading books about teenagers made being one safe, again.  _

_ I think that’s probably true. But it’s damn good books, too.  _

_ S-  _

 

_ To:  _ [ _ d.hale.wolf@gmail.com _ ](mailto:d.hale.wolf@gmail.com)

_ From:  _ [ _ SStilinski24@gmail.com _ ](mailto:SStilinski24@gmail.com)

_ Subject: RE _

_ Illuminae. Read it.  _

 

The problem was--he felt like he was on the outskirts of Derek’s life. A part of it. He knew about the ‘wolf’s food choices and exercise regime and what he was reading and his nightmares and dreams and his sisters’ and parents, had a hundred pictures on his phone and in his inbox of Derek’s cabin, of his workshop, of the trees where he ran and the moon and stars and sunsets. 

Derek was twisting into his life, a sweet subtle presence that he didn’t want to resist. But then--

There were the days when Derek went dark and moody, when he was quiet and sullen. There were things that Derek refused to talk about--about Braeden and his pack of omegas, about the leather trio. 

He was protective, always, of the people he loved and the grief he still carried and Stiles--

Stiles understood it. 

He still wanted to be let into Derek’s world. He wanted to meet the pack Derek had built, and hug Braeden and hold him when he shook from memories. 

 

_ To:  _ [ _ SStilinski24@gmail.com _ ](mailto:SStilinski24@gmail.com)

_ From:  _ [ _ D.hale.wolf@gmail.com _ ](mailto:D.hale.wolf@gmail.com)

_ Subject: regrets _

 

_ I didn’t want to leave you.  _

_ I had to leave, but I never wanted to leave  _ you.

 

He runs. 

He runs because it itches under his skin, a want he can’t have, a fear he can’t put to rest, a feeling of teetering on the precipice, tipping into more. 

He runs because he can’t stay still, can’t keep his energy in control, can’t keep his breathing even when he reads Derek’s emails and texts and hesitant promises. 

He runs because it’s been months of waiting and talking and they are both still waiting, waiting,  _ waiting.  _

He feels like a storm, ready to break, and it makes his breath catch as he runs, because he doesn’t know if he’s ready for that, just knows how much he  _ wants. _

He runs and the rain begins to fall in the woods. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Those emails are made up and if they belong to someone, sorry?!?! 
> 
> <3 As always, I can be found on [Tumblr](http://areiton.tumblr.com/)


End file.
